Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
