I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
