its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
