I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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