We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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