Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
