we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
