it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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