I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
