don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
