you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
