Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I would fuck him just for his dog
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
