oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
