He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I can't turn off my feet"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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