I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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