Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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