We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
