Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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