Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I didn't notice because vodka
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
