His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
