the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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