I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
