He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
