fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize