At least make sure they are 18
Why
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Randomize
