I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
