i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize