Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
