I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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