areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize