dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
