If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
