How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
