my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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