We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
