you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
