Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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