toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
