Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
