I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize