Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
