You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
