even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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