Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
