i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
you never un-have a 4some
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
