Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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