remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
