No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
