a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
