Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
farters have to be the big spoon...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
