well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
