You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
