Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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