I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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