I love black thongs
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
