when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So drunk its hurt
Your tits are I can't wait for
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
