Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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