Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
