I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Is it because I queefed?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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