Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
