You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
