She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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