Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
